Prewedding Shoot

I don't want to sound defensive, but I want to explain why we ended up having this type of photo shoot just because I know that to some people, it's a bit "grand".

To start off, we didn't pay much for this shoot. Had we rented a condo unit (which I had intended when I thought renting out a yacht would be too expensive), or a public place, we would probably end up paying the same. We had a pretty good deal from a friend so we decided to push through with it! Lucky, I know! 

Years ago when we just started dating, Rab said, "when we get married someday, I'd like to have our prenuptial shoot at a yacht because it's somehow aligned to my line of work, and I also dream of having one someday. If ever I don't get to own one, I'd have those photos to look at when I'm old." It was nice to hear that from him at that stage because at least I knew I wouldn't be wasting time and emotions for him; and he was thinking about marrying me. Anyway, months before I actually had the courage to ask my friend, I was looking at different yachts for rent and they were all too expensive. I already told Rab that I think we had to go to plan b which is to rent a condo unit. As mentioned above, well, we went with the original plan.

We're not really morning people therefore we really hate waking up early. It wasn't necessarily hard to pick a date, but it wasn't easy either. I had to make sure everyone would be available: the makeup artist (a good friend), hairstylist, photo & video team, the yacht, stylist (a best friend), my dad or our driver (to drive the PV team), and of course, the groom to be. We woke up really early that day since we had to travel from Manila to Subic and start at 12NN to get good shots.

When we started, both me and Rab were very awkward because we're not really used to being subjects for a shoot! Especially me! I'm used to being the one behind the camera. But the Digital Elements team was so good we somehow didn't get lost doing poses. BIG THANKS to our HMUA as well for making us feel confident about ourselves and of course our stylist for making us look fab! Another big big big thanks to my dad who drove the team. 

I didn't think it would be that tiring but oh my gosh. There was a part of the shoot where we had to lie down and close our eyes as the PV team was doing the drone shots. I fell asleep! Lol! At the end of the day, I knew that it was a success and I WILL NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. I love that we didn't go for plan b, and I love that we have these fab photos to look at for the rest of our lives.

Special thanks to:

Digital Elements

Makeup by Iya Gueco

Hair by Renzo Lusterio

Styling by Nikki Sapo

Here are some of the great photos:

Of course I had to include my dad!

2019 Highlights

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm all about our wedding. But answer this, if you were in my shoes, wouldn't you be?

Playing with my Room

After Rab and I repainted my room clean white, I told myself that that's the most I would do apart from keeping tidy. I said I wanted to maintain the minimalism. But who was I kidding?

My Harry Potter Engagement ⌁☍

December 28, 2018

Purple Owl, Tagaytay City
No, I didn't have any idea.
Yes, I was surprised up to my very core.
My inner goddess was screaming and jumping the whole time.

Thoughts: Matters In Question

When it comes to dating and being in a relationship, there are a lot of issues that both men and women encounter and it's obviously just part of it. Sometimes, it's even hard to distinguish who is right or wrong in an argument/fight. What are the normal issues that couples encounter?

Well, I'm no relationship expert. I don't know. But I decided to write an entry about the shallow issues that couples go through.

MEN's Issues

1. Monthly menstruation 

Menstruation is the periodic discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from the inner lining of the uterus through the vagina. This cyclic discharge is seen in females of certain mammalian species (including humans). It begins with the onset of menarche at or before sexual maturity and stops at or near menopause (commonly considered the end of a female's productive life). The periodicity of menstruation gives rise to commonly used euphemisms such as "period" and "monthly".

Most men, if not all, have issues with their girl's monthly period. I know, it's annoying. I know, I've been there. Lol! It's really hard to explain to guys how painful, annoying, irritating and hard it is to have menstruation since, well, they don't have a uterus and don't have a vagina (don't worry, we know you have balls. But you don't get kicked in the nuts monthly, so this argument is invalid).

To make life easier, maybe guys should just imagine how hard, annoying, awkward, and irritating it is when there's blood flowing out a girl's vagina all day long. It's like peeing all day, but with an enormous amount of pain. I've got 3 tips for you guys:

• Be patient. A girl, no matter how "mature" she can be, is extra sensitive during her period. 
• Be understanding. A girl can suddenly act like she has all the problems in the world but in reality, she's doing just fine. It's just the hormones; deal with it.
• Give her food. There is a huge chance her appetite will grow before and during her period, so just give her an ice cream bucket. 

2. Insecurity: Other women (models, porn stars, celebrities, and most importantly, the EX)

© Google Images

I recently found out about how a girl could react to their guys checking out other women on Facebook, Instagram, Google and the likes. Stalking the ex is a different story.

Boys, you can't really blame us. If we ever catch you looking at pages with images of sexy, beautiful and perfect women, we will really lose our minds. These women: models, porn stars, and celebrities are perfect. They're not even human. They have the most beautiful eyes, long and straight legs, perfect hair, big boobs, small waists, huge ass, flat stomach with abs, and the perfect skin. Knowing that a guy is looking at such images (which is perfectly normal, I get it) is somehow an insult to most girls since normal human beings (such as myself) are flawed. We have huge arms, cellulites, big bellies, the list could just go on and on. We know we can never be that girl. It makes us feel like you look at these girls because of our imperfections.

Now, the ex. Well, a girl's mind is a very complicated mind. We know that things are over between you and your ex, but we still get jealous over them probably because of the fact that at one point in time, you liked/loved them. Again, why? Because we are insecure. We ask ourselves a lot of questions. "Is she prettier than me?", "Was she good in bed?", "Did his parents like her?" -- those things. 

My advice to men:

Just let her win the argument. Tell her what she wants to hear, but remain honest. As for the ex issue, remind her that if your ex was better, then you should have stayed with her instead. Give her the assurance that everything is over between you and your ex.

3. A girl's inability to honestly say what she feels.

This can be of different things: where to eat, to attend a party or not, answer the question "are you mad", or even allowing their boyfriends to go out. Girls, get your shit together. If you want your boyfriend to be honest with his feelings, you better do the same.

I've heard a lot of stories about this and it's really funny how deciding where to eat has become an issue to some couples. Girls, especially those who are pregnant or on their periods are fickle-minded when it comes to what they want to eat and it becomes really annoying for the guys...especially when hungry. As for the going out part, I remember allowing my ex to go to a bar with his friends and actually just piss him off the whole night. I don't know why I did it, but I know it's super ridiculous. I guess I should have just slept through the night or have kept myself busy with something.

Women's Issues

1. Video/Computer Games

Okay, so I've been here. I know how annoying it is to have to wait for your boyfriend to finish a video game. Then maturity hit.

Girls, we are all familiar with the line "boys and their toys". Just let them be. If you want to win the Best Girlfriend Award, let him play with his friends. Consider this as your spa or shopping date with your girlfriends. Boys need their time alone with their games. I don't know, but I think it gives them pride. If you're that cool, try to learn the game and play it with him. Don't suck at it though, you'll give him a headache if you suck.

© Photospin

2. BNO: Boys' Night Out

Okay, so I am also guilty of this. I wasn't a perfect girlfriend. But then I came to realize that not only does he need it, but that I also need it.

You have your girlfriends and he has his friends. If you need alone time with your girls - go on a spa, shopping, lunch out, tea time, salon day, sleepovers, or movie dates, he needs his time with his friends too. Don't take that away from him. 

The thing is, I think most girls have a hard time letting their guys go out because BNOs usually include alcohol. They may go out to bars or clubs and hang out with moderate to huge amount of alcohol and this is when a girl starts to have ludicrous thoughts. I guess most girls cannot move on from the fact that there is a bigger chance the guy will cheat when he's out wit his friends. Why? Let's say there's a group of 5 guys out in a bar. 3 of them are in a relationship, and 2 are single. The 2 single men might like someone from another table, and ask their friends to help them or start a small talk with the girls on the other table. Being "friends", of course they'll talk to the girls too. Then the 2 single men could tease the 3 other guys. I think it gives a guy some sort of pride to know that there is another girl interested in them. I think it makes them feel handsome. Most girls are afraid to trust because of many reasons. They have probably been cheated on before, or their girlfriend has gone through a bad relationship wherein her ex slept with the whole of Makati. You don't know.

As time has passed, especially at the present, I have come to understand how a couple still need time alone. I also learned that not all men have the tendency to cheat. Yes, guys can be one hell of a flirt when they're single, but once they find that girl, they become well behaved. Ladies, if your guy wants to go out with his friends, I think it's better if you let him go without a fight and mean it when you say "have fun" because it will make your men love you even more and feel like they're lucky to have someone who understands his needs. With this, you will also spare yourself of the lies they could actually commit if you become too controlling. 

3. Indifference

Just like our periods, we know that there are days when a guy simply acts indifferent. I'm not saying that they are indeed indifferent, but there are really days where a guy is "not in the mood" to show much affection to their girls or they simply fail to notice a girl's effort to make them smile.

One of the most common "indifferent" issues is how a girl goes to the salon, has her hair and nails done, shop for a new dress to wear for their monthsary date, and a guy fails to notice it, or say something about it. Guys who are reprimanded of this would usually tell their girls that they like their girlfriends more without makeup. Then again, explain why you keep on looking at those perfect girls on the internet. You can't blame a girl for putting up too much makeup for a date when your definition of beautiful and hot is Bar Refaeli or Megan Fox or Sasha Gray. We just really want to impress you.

Men and women of the Earth, we all have issues. Those issues I've written above aren't everything and may not be applicable to you, but they are to some/most people. They are the shallow ones, if I must say. I wrote this entry to remind you that there are bigger problems in this world. Death, poverty, corruption. I could go on and on. I know that emotional baggage is such a heavy one to carry everyday, but it's something you can control as long as you keep your eyes and mind open. For you to lose these things that hurt you, you must be able to understand the nature of your partner, and most of all accept that he/she is as flawed as you are. 

Cheers! 

Questions Towards the End

Created this in Photoshop

How do you really know when you are to end up with someone?

How do you really know when you should stop a relationship that's more of a habit than a real relationship?

Well, I don't have the right to speak for everybody, but I think I can speak for myself. This is a personal entry so it may not be as detailed as it should.

I just came out of a 6-year relationship. I can say that it was both amazing and toxic. If I jump into details, I might be judged and hated by some, even my ex. Let me keep everything simple.

We were friends before we got together. The friendship was good, very good, that you would assume that nothing could go wrong. At least that's what I thought. As years passed, just like in any relationship, we got to know a lot more about each other and I think that's when I can say that I found myself opting out of the relationship.

I am the type of person with a lot of faith. Faith in God and in people. In this public portal of mine, I'd have to say that there were a lot of people who didn't really want to see us together. Yes, and I'm sorry. The people who didn't want to see us together had different reasons and over the years, I tried to fight those reasons - I tried to disregard them because of love. Just as Patty Smith would sing it, "There's a danger in loving somebody too much. It's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust. There's a reason why people don't stay who they are. Baby sometimes, love just ain't enough." I've been into this song since I was in high school and it never really meant something until I reached the point where everything was falling apart.

Writing this entry took me awhile because I don't want you guys to get the impression that I'm perfect or that I never committed mistakes throughout the six years I was with him. In all honesty, I've made a lot of mistakes. Towards the end, I knew there were a lot of things that I should and shouldn't have done, but I just couldn't find the will to do because I was losing hope. My faith in him has fluctuated and I think this is the first time I didn't want to blame myself.

Well, since this is a private matter, I can't really divulge into details which makes this post rather gibberish, but I'd like to let it out since it's been choking me for over a month now. I also wrote this entry to once again explain myself that I have my reasons and I didn't just "throw everything away". Seriously, not that type of person and you should know that.

Life, and all that shit.

I'm 23, turning 24 this year. To some people, I may not have the credibility to write about life. But tell me, who is?

Let me share my perspective about life.

Although I'm on the verge of breaking down due to personal problems, I can still say that I haven't gone through the worst - worst meaning life-threatening, crazy experiences as others may have. I haven't gone through poverty, through a family breakup, bad school experience, molestation, or things as such. I have my own set of bad scenarios, and they're not as bad as others. With this, I thank the Lord.

Now, life. Life is not what others say it is. They always say life is good, life is short, life is a mess, life is bullshit, life is like this, life is like that. I say life is just fair. It gives you the right amount of happiness, and it gives you the right amount of pain as well. To people who say that life is unfair, I guess they make their lives unfair. They make their lives more miserable as it is. I'm actually guilty of this. They say, "fuck my life" when they don't get what they want in a snap. They say FML when they fail their classes. They say FML when their boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with them. Well, fuck you.

I have this friend who is taking up a medical course. I know it's not easy studying medicine. But there are a lot of doctors out there. Seeing my friend failing his classes annoys me too much. He says he can't do it, and no matter how hard he studies, he still fails. He also said that there's this class where only one passed. I say, if someone passed, then he can. It's as simple as that. Maybe this person exerted a lot of effort to pass. I see this friend of mine, and he drinks with me and the group. Sources tell me that he stays at this internet shop to play games. Where's the effort in that?

I know of someone who curses through life over and over again. Whenever he's stuck in traffic, he would think that the gods hate him too much that they would put him in such jam. I say, wtf.

To set hypocrisy aside, let's talk about me. Whenever there's a bad day at work, I'd want to quit. Whenever someone says I'm ugly, I say I'm ugly. When someone says bad things to me, I take it seriously, and I say, fuck my life. I've got a bad life, and you know the drill.

So okay. Given these details, does it show you how people take life? I think we take life seriously. Life is a joke. Life is a test. You shouldn't have the mindset that whatever you're going through right now will never leave you (wtf, I should be telling this to myself).

© Google

 We're all familiar with this saying: "This too shall pass". The first time I heard about this was when my best friend told me she wanted this for a tattoo. I'm not a tattoo fan, but I guess having this permanently inked to whichever part of your body is a good idea. Constant reminder for you that whether good or bad experience, it'll pass. 

So there. I hope people quit saying life is unfair, life is full of bullshit, and that life is HAPPY. If you keep on telling me that, there will only be two things that will come to my mind. One is that you're a hypocrite, and two, is that you're lying to me.