Being in my mid-thirties, I look at my life now and realize that the life I have now is very close to the life I had imagined when I was young. There may be some slight differences, but yeah, I'm living the life I used to dream about.
With social media being such a huge part of our lives now, I often see old classmates and acquaintances and find myself wondering: are they living the life they once imagined for themselves?
I don’t know about you, but society has definitely shaped a certain picture in my mind of what life is “supposed” to look like — finish college, get a job, get married, have kids. But did we all really dream of that same life?
Maybe some people knew from a young age that they never wanted to get married or have children. Maybe others want kids but not marriage, or marriage without kids. My brother, for example, has always known he doesn’t want children.
I know people around my age who got married and are now separated, and somehow it affects me more than it probably should. Maybe it’s the empath in me, but no one enters a marriage expecting it to end.
On the other hand, many people on my feed are still single, and maybe not all of them even have the freedom to move out of their parents’ home. Some may not be able to afford it, while others are held back by the toxic Filipino tradition of staying, even when it no longer serves them.
Sometimes I wonder if we’re truly living the lives we wanted, or simply the lives we were taught to want.
Thankfully, even though I may seem “career-less” in the eyes of others, and even though being a full-time mom challenges me mentally and physically every single day, I can honestly and sincerely say that I am happy. This is the life I once imagined for myself.
I imagined having a husband who is caring, generous, understanding, and sweet — and I have him. I imagined having children who would fight over my love and attention — and I have them. I imagined myself cooking and cleaning for my family, creating a home filled with love. And although I never imagined it would be this tiring, I really am happy.
Hey, just the fact that I married my high school crush despite the obstacles is a dream.
My life now revolves around my little family. And while there are days when I feel lost and miss having time for myself, my love for them will always be greater. I will gladly offer my days to them — to care for them, guide them, and be present as they grow. I will enjoy every season of watching them become who they are meant to be, until the time comes when they can finally stand on their own feet.
