Dealing with the Real Life

Hi, I'm on my 9th month at work and if you ask me how I'm doing, I'd say I'm probably doing fine. Just fine. Not exemplary, not that bad. I haven't reached my goal yet, and a few colleagues tell me it's normal for someone not to reach what I want to reach in the span of 9 months. But then again, I can't NOT compare myself to my mother who got promoted after 7 months. Understanding the scenario, I'm not as good as my mom, and I accept that. I'm squeezing my head out on days where I have nothing to do at work Why? Simply because I know that if I'm really "working hard", then I shouldn't have days where I have nothing to do. That makes sense, right?

I'm on the verge of breaking down right now cause I'm facing a huge problem. I don't know the consequences yet, but I'm already freaking out. I am dying to close deals, I am dying to reach my quota, and I am dying to excel. If I grade myself, I'd most likely give myself 70%. I know it's not as easy as I thought it was. I know my clients aren't as big as others; and I know that I don't have a lot of accounts yet. I have about 10, but I cannot force myself to visit them when they're not available or I have just visited them. I want to look for more accounts, but when I do, clients don't usually respond immediately. I don't know if I'm fit for the job or not even though I have been told that it fits me well. 

I'm blogging about this, no matter how embarrassing it is because I don't know how else to let all my emotions out. During the times I have nothing to do but stare at my emails, I always imagine how different my life would be now if I had just pursued starting a business and then I realized that...

...if I'm having so much trouble saving money, dealing with clients as such, being responsible with time, then I would most likely flush my business down again. I don't want that to happen. As long as I have not learned how hard it really is in the real life, I will not take the risk of starting another business. Some people don't really understand how it is to work. I'm very close to understanding it now, seriously. I have just started not receiving allowance from my mom this month, and I'm glad I won't be in the next months. I need to work with the money I get from work for me to appreciate this challenge.

My Dearest Lord,

Please guide me along the way.

Please do not leave me all alone.

I understand that this is just a phase, but I am humbly asking for strength and grace.

Thank you for not forgetting I need You by my side.

Thank You.

Employee VS Entrepreneur

I graduated Bachelor of Science in Entrepreneurship and I left school without the intention of applying for a job. First, I didn't need to and second, I studied for four years to become an entrepreneur, not an employee. Throughout college, I learned the pros and cons of being an entrepreneur and it inspired me so much. But as we all know, starting a business is not a joke.

One of the most famous entrepreneurial stories is probably Henry Sy's way to the top. Henry Sy being one of the richest, we should always keep in mind that it is not as easy as they make it seem. The speakers I listened to whenever there are Entrep Talks in school inspired me as well. The activities such as fashion shows, entrep corners, Galleria, etc. all made me steps closer to being an entrepreneur. But there's something missing...

I am currently working for an IT Reseller company and this is way out of my league. To be honest, my first months were tragic. First, after being a bum for quite some time, I got culture-shocked with the schedule, and the loss of freedom made me lose time with Chuck and so we broke up. Second, are you kidding me? The only "techie" thing I can do is customize the html of my site. Other than that, there's Photoshop. But then again, you don't need to be techie to be able to perform that. Third, the pressure around me started to rise especially after my first evaluation. Around December last year, I actually made a pact to myself that if I don't enjoy even just a little bit, I'd resign. Then came my big boss' offer: some million peso worth quota. I was like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It was very hard for me to even understand what my products are and then I was given an annual quota. Then it hit me. My bosses probably saw something in me that I never saw. Whatever it is, I would never know... or maybe when I reach my quota? I don't know. But that's still it. They have faith in me. 

If you're wondering why I actually rooted for a job, it's simple. I was an irresponsible spoiled brat. Yes, I finally admitted I was a brat. Not to the point that I'm a pain-in-the-ass or something. I was semi-responsible when I was in college, okay. I wouldn't have been an officer for two years, one being an HR person and one being the General Manager; and I wouldn't have received a couple of "Student of the Month" awards if I wasn't responsible in a way. Maybe the perfect term would be: "not ready for the real life". Yes, that's it. I wasn't ready.

I, along with my brother, were given the chance to start up our own business as early as 2011. It wasn't just a buy-and-sell kind of business. It was a legit one, DTI and BIR registered. It was something I thought I wanted. A photography studio. Being the spoiled kid I was, nothing happened. I had the "business" buy me a high-end camera (better than my personal Canon 40D), a Macbook Pro, a bunch of gadgets I never thought I'd have, etc. We've had a few clients, and it paid well. Guess what, where's it now? It's probably flushed down the toilet. Long story short, I needed to learn the value of money and I wouldn't learn that from asking for money from my parents to start a business. I needed to work for the money to start my business. That's what I'm doing now.

I'm finally having fun at work and although the pressure is still on, I'm really enjoying every minute of it. There are times I get so stressed that my emotions just get mixed up and people around me get affected, but I am so proud of myself for turning into the person I am now. I still impulse-buy sometimes, but I can proudly say that I've learned how to control myself. I'm looking forward to more years with this company, and soon enough, looking forward to having my own business, out of my own money.

My First Express Way Try

About to pay the toll

January 11, 2013

This was our department's Kick Off thing. We had budget for a kick off thing because we won the best video thingy during our Christmas Party. The kick off was held in Laguna. I had the choice not to bring a car but I wanted to go home straight after so I decided to bring a car.

I haven't really tried driving at an express way. The farthest I have driven would be Makati. In college, Katipunan wasn't really a challenge. Driving along SLEX was fun but very unpredictable, especially with the rain. Everything was smooth, everything was fast. My first was very challenging cause I didn't have my dad beside me or the driver telling me what to do next. I've been driving for almost 6 years now but I'm still a panic driver. To my surprise, I enjoyed having 60kph as the minimum speed. Boo you, Commonwealth. It's so much fun driving with 60kph as the minimum!

To sum it up, I had fun. More road trips please?

My New World

I am five (5) months old at my job already and I don't think I have posted an entry involving my work friends. Sorry, I don't really like calling them my "work" friends. For the months I've been with this company, I have spent more than office hours with these people and I believe I found new true friends. Along with all the issues at work, they've stood by my side and have comforted me; and I to them. We have shared a lot about our personal lives already. Nobody is perfect, but we can always choose to be good. There are some people in the office who gave me the fear of looking at everyone in two ways. I have heard a lot of stories, but I don't always tend to believe until I experience them. I try to understand what runs through their heads when they do what they do, but all I want is for them to realize their own faults and change. 

Nevertheless, I thank these people for making my office life an awesome one.

Lovely

Darren Analee

Lovely

Darren Analee

Us girls

Nothing to do at the office

Patrisha Rose

Lovely

Patrisha - my friend since high school, best friend since college, girlfriend since last year

With Lovely while hosting our company's Christmas Party 2012

Lovely, my co-host

Dancing the famous Gangnam thing after hosting

Ana B, girl crush

My first Beer Bust at the office

BK Date with Darren

My mom's pre-birthday gift to me at New World Hotel. That's Nelson, btw

Ending 2012

Christmas has just ended, and I'd like to say my Christmas was okay.

I haven't blogged for the longest time because for the past months, I wasn't really doing well. Some days are happy, some days are sad. 2012 is probably the most complicated year of my life. I end 2012 with mixed emotions; but definitely thankful it has finally come to an end.

Early this year, I graduated college. When I received my diploma last March 24, I said this was gonna be a good year. I went to Korea with my best friend to celebrate our graduation and yet again, I said this was gonna be a good year. A few months after being a total bum, I went to a job interview. My first job interview, and I got the job. Not bad, isn't it? Then again, I said this was gonna be a good year. Just a few weeks after taking the job, I lost the man I love. It was such an excruciating experience, and I felt like I had to pay for all the good things that happened the whole year. After this, I told myself..."damn, this is such a fuckin year." To be honest, there were nights when I was happy he was gone, but there were more days and nights when I wished we never broke up. But for the three months we weren't together, he actually didn't stop texting. Apparently, he didn't stop making me feel loved. Last December 10, we got back together. A lot of people questioned my decision of taking him back after all he's done, but I don't think that's part of their damn business. Since we got back together, I had someone hate me so much. It's okay, I'll get by.

© TINA CEMBRANO

© TINA CEMBRANO

© TINA CEMBRANO

© TINA CEMBRANO

© TINA CEMBRANO

© TINA CEMBRANO

© TINA CEMBRANO

New Year's Eve was, as always, exciting. I posted a few of my favorite fireworks shots. I'm looking forward to a lot of good things this year. I have not made a list of my resolutions cause I have finally accepted the fact that I don't really stick to my resolutions. The only thing I can promise myself is to let go of all the pain and heartaches 2012 has brought to me and live my life the way I should.

Once again, Happy 2013 from me to you. Let there be peace on Earth!

There's always a first

Today, August 15, 2012, is my first time to feel that I am part of the corporate world. I never wanted to be part of it, in fact I wanted to avoid it. But then again, things don't always go as planned. I took the job because I wanted to, not because I feel regretful of waking up at 2PM everyday, doing nothing at home. I wanted to work for this company because I wanted personal growth, I wanted to see how a company works in real life (apart from things I've learned in school which is so different), and most of all, I wanted to see if I could be someone I never thought I would be.

Today's my 5th day at work and today, I attended a meeting. My first "corporate" meeting. It went well; actually better than I expected. I didn't know I would enjoy attending this. I thought I would freak out. I thought I would humiliate myself. -- I thought of the worst things. I was so relieved afterwards because I surprisingly turned out okay. In fact, I am looking forward to more meetings.

I am part of the Sales Department and I am going to make client calls - talk to different people from different companies. I believe I can deliever well, but I need training first. I believe that by next week, I'd have my first call, but I'm grateful that my boss will come with me. She will guide me for two weeks and after that, I'm on my own. Oh. My. Gosh. This is it. This is the moment. I have to work harder and gather more confidence so I'd be able to close a deal. Yeah, I think I can do that.

Well, kudos to my first meeting. They provided free Starbucks and I pretty much expected that.

MACTAN: Shangri-La + Mother's Day

We celebrated mother's day at Cebu. We stayed there for two nights because my mom had work. My dad slept only for a night because he had to attend a homecoming. Therefore, my mom had me and my brother alone for the whole weekend.

Growing up, I can say that I got used to my mom traveling abroad from time to time. If I remember it correctly, I cried every time she left and stopped crying when I was in fourth grade. Maybe her work also became the reason why I grew up closer to my dad and therefore consider myself as a daddy's girl. I never asked myself who I loved more, because I love them both equally. I always prayed for the day when I'll be as close to my mom as I am close to my dad (actually, our family agrees with the psychology that the son would be closer to the mom and the daughter will be closer to the dad). God does listen to prayers. When I reached college, I finally got to be my mother's friend; not only her daughter. She's more like a sister to me already. She knows I smoke, she knows I drink. She knows so much about me right now that I never thought she would. Well, patience is a virtue.

This Cebu trip was definitely a gift of God to us. We stayed at Shangri-La Mactan, Ocean View.

I can't post pictures of my mom due to her work (still can't understand why).

Shangri-La amazes the hell out of me.

Our room (kuya and I)

View from our room. Simply paradise, I must say.

First night, we ordered room service cause I was gonna meet a friend.

College sweetie, Mai at IT Park, Cebu.

Strolled at the beach around 6pm with mom and kuya on the second day

Bonding with mum!

I have nothing negative to say about Shanri-La Mactan!! I love it to the core! Will definitely go back!

Relaxing

With kuya

Enjoying my Banana Smoothie while spending time with my mom on mother's day!

Korea 2012

I don't know how to begin describing how my trip went. Even when I was there, I couldn't explain to myself what I was feeling at the moment. I think one of the reasons why my trip became one of the best trips is Nika. My oh my, you're no boring person, my friend!

In case we haven't mentioned it enough, our first trip abroad was in Bangkok, last 2009. That was my course's thing, but the chairperson allowed her to join because we needed at least one more person to come or else we'll pay more. The Bangkok trip didn't seem like it was a school thing because after attending a Culinary competition for approximately two hours, we already had our free time. Free time means shopping. Just imagine 2-3 days of shopping with your best friend abroad...how would you feel? This year, we went to Korea for no reason (except for the fact that we both just graduated and we always wanted a part two abroad). It all started with one ride to school.

Tina: Nika parang gusto kong pumunta ng Korea. Tara punta tayo!
Nika: Oh my God Tina pupunta kami nila mama sama ka nalang samin!

...and there it was. One random conversation became the real thing. It's not that we think we're so cool; travelling abroad together and stuff. We just really wanted to go.

(I will not post all the photos cause this will be an ass long entry. Instead, I'll post some of my favorites and put the rest in a slideshow)

Koreaaa - slide show

Butuan Trip 2012

To my lolo: Francisco Cembrano, may you rest in peace.

One of the reasons why I cried before, during and after my graduation was because my dad wasn't there to witness me receive my diploma. An unfortunate event, the passing of my loving grandfather occurred. I understand with all my heart that my dad had to go home to BXU immediately, I just couldn't help but be sad that my dad, my favorite guy, my best friend, my old man, wouldn't be there. But, I'm over it now. :)

I was never really close to my lolo, and that's most likely because he was in Butuan and I'm here in Manila. As a child, I remember visiting twice in Butuan. I don't even remember when he visited here in Manila. I'm very happy to say that we visited BXU last Dec 2010. At least for the last time, I got to see my lolo. He is an angel, because if it wasn't for him and my lola, my dad wouldn't be here. I feel sad for all his ten children, but I always knew he missed my grandmother. At least now, I know they're together. :)

My week-long trip in Butuan taught me a little bit of bisaya, and I got to meet a whole lot of the Cembrano and Radaza clan.

December 2010 - The last time I saw my lolo

March 2012 - The first time in I-don't-know-how-many-years I've seen the Cembrano siblings complete!

It Ends Tonight

 

March 24, 2012

4:30PM, about to march my way to the end

God has His own ways of making me feel I am loved and that I deserve to get what I need(want). I honestly never saw myself as someone who would graduate on time; given my study habits and vices. I know that my college experience is not the best. I didn't get the chance to get to the Dean's Lister (but luckily, I was ALMOST THERE on my last semester, if only I had my grade in Math higher); I'm not the president of any org, etc. But I know there are a lot of things to be proud of.

1. General Manager of the Internet Research Center - IRC is a business center in school. It is handled by the Planning and Development Office, but is operated by Entrepreneurship students. I am proud to say that I was its General Manager on my fourth year in college. Obviously, it is the highest position. During my third year in college, I was the Personnel Manager. Therefore I am proud to say that I have become an officer of something big too.
2. Best in Marketing Effort ( Glace ) - Glace was the mini shoe company we started in second year college. To receive an award during our first Galleria experience was too good to be true.
3. SJE Student of the Month - I was awarded Student of the Month twice: once in third year and once on my fourth year. It was an org thing, but then again it was printed on a certificate signed by the Department Chairperson and the Dean so it meant something!
4. Entrepreneurship Debate Society Entrep Team Quarterfinalist - I joined the debate team because my favorite professor sent my name to the head of the Entrep team. I felt so smart because my favorite professor was really hard to please and being recommended in such a thing, oh my. My team (GC and Kyra) only won one debate, but the fact is, we still did. Lol
5. Internet Research Center: Best Performing Business Center - this isn't only because of me, but I am very proud to say that when I was GM, we won the Best Performing award! It was based on sales and they let the lower batches vote. Lovely!

I'm pretty sure those aren't the only achievements I had, but I guess those are the most important since they're the only ones I remember! So, it ends tonight. It ended that night. The 24th of March. Thank you, Lord God.